diaries of a scorpio

2007-01-26T06:25:00.000-08:00

Living in London

It's funny,,
it was my dream,
to live somewhere else away from Jedddah
(for a while)
and now, i'm there
i'm living my dream,, in London
the cold weather
the multicolored people
the great cafes all around the street
the underground
Harrods
Marks & Spencer food hall (it's a must see)
the british accent of the professors in college
and ofcourse; Krispy Cream Donughts
It's an experience to live;
not to be told about.

2007-01-13T05:50:00.000-08:00

The Bridezilla Honeymoon

I have read different articles on the reason behind calling the "Honeymoon" by that name. Some of them says that it was given that name after some old European habbit of the bride and groom drinking honey for a whole month after their wedding to give them strength and good health (I agree with that, you need all the strength you can have,,, krkrkrkrkrk)

Back to me, I was so happy I had my honeymoon planned the right way. We went to the Maldives for the first 6 days then to dubai for another 5 days. So we had the relaxation and romance for the first week then the shopping and social life for the 2nd half. It was perfect!
Thank God nothing terrible happend during the honeymoon. Because sometimes i keep hearing about these awful honeymoons with all kinds of awful surprizes such as lost luguage and terrible sicknesses. Thank god!

The Maldives is paradise on erth! The nature, the colors of the sea, the service, and ofcourse the seafood. Check out the 4 seasons: http://www.fourseasons.com/maldives/ we've been to both resorts. It was like a fairytale!
Dubai was also very entertaining; meeting my husband's lebanese friends from college, shopping, and clubbing. Very energetic; kind of a total shift from the Maldives

In the end, although we had quiet a short honeymoon, but I still think it was the best. Many stories to tell and many unforgetable memories.
Hope you all can have one as great as mine.
Miss you !

2007-01-10T13:17:00.000-08:00

The End of Bridezilla

(I'm so sorry you guys, I know that this post is like a 2 weeks late, but you know, i'm a bride and all that so you gota forgive me right?)

The wedding is over!
Here are some of my thoughts on it:

I was so overwhelmed by my feelings the week before the wedding which made it very difficult for me to sit down and blog about it.
They were mixed feelings; happyness, sadness, regret, love, longing, stress, and comfort.

The wedding day itself had passed peacefully. I was convincing my self not to cry on that day because I promissed myself that nothing would bother me that day and I kept my promise.

During the wedding, and while i'm at the zaffa, on the kousha, or dancing with my friends, I was just looking around me and telling myself: "This is not my wedding! it can't be! is it really my wedding?"

For the last 2 weeks of the honeymoon i kept having those flashbacks of the wedding; the faces of the poeple, the flowers, the music, and the pictures we took. Such memories drew a smile on my face.

In the end, I would like to thank all of those who helped me to make this day so amazing. My friends and family; thank you for your support, love, and believing in me.

I'm no longer a Bridezilla
I'm a wife!

2006-12-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

Diaries Of Bridezilla
Episode 4: Al '3omra

If you are from the Hejaz region or you have Madeni origins then you would be familiar with the term" '3omra" or "Lelat al 7ena" for other Saudi regions. It is the night where the family of the bride gather at the bride's house before the wedding to show the gifts they brought her and to celebrate her getting married.
That is the old tradition for that night. Nowadays, things have changed a bit. Such an event has become so popular and "trendy" even between non Madeni poeple. It also has become such large parties where lots and lots of money is spent on flowers, food, zaffafat, and costumes.
Speaking of costumes, on that night the bride to be has to wear a special thobe- pink or fushia- that is decorated with gold threads and pearls.
Another thing about this costume is that nothing has to show from the bride; not her body or face. and one more thing; the costume is so damn heavy!
In the old days, and honoring the bride to be, her family didn't allow her to walk on the floor so they force her to walk on tiny chairs. Two chairs are used for this process; when the bride fully steps on one, they put the next chair infront of her to step on and remove the former. Interesting to see ha?

You may be asking yourself how come i know so much about such a thing ( apart that i am originally from Madina) is because My '3omra was just last night.
And yes; i wore the heavy thobe, and wore the funny thing on my head, walked on the chairs and had to listen to very noisy zaffafat.
it's a once in a life time experience.
you either do it or you don't.
Honoring my Madeni Background; I chose to do it.

(Oh come on girls, it was fun wasn't it?)

2006-12-13T03:55:00.000-08:00

Diaries of Bridezilla
Episode 3: I'm leaving!

AaaaH! only 13 days left to the wedding
time is passing by so quickly and I feel there's alot to do;
I want to spend more time with my father to tell him how much i'm going to miss him
I want to be with my friends a bit more for I will miss our gatherings
I want to sleep more in my room, for i'm going to leave it for good
I want to buy gifts for everybody who have helped me through planning this wedding
I want to go visit all my favourite spots around jeddah just one more time, to say goodbye.

I can't believe I'll be missing my friends' weddings, new borns, family gatherings, and Jeddah's social events.
I though i couldn't stand it anymore, but it's funny how it turns out that I will miss the events I have been complaining about the most.

I think this is us humans; you don't realize what you have until you loose it.

2006-12-05T02:06:00.000-08:00

Diaries of Bridezilla: Passing Thoughts

Milka, katb al ketab, 3aqd al qeran
are all names for the same turning point; where you don't feel gulity doing "stuff" with your man any more.

God!! What a relief!

It's funny how after you get to this point, a different kind of pleasure is experienced.
It's pure pleasure with no voices in the back of your head telling you "you shouldn't be doing this" or "you shouldn't be enjoying it" when you really want to.

So to all of you girls and boys who did not get to try such pleasure; May God grant you all the perfect spouses

and BTW, you're missing alot!
Ameen!

2006-11-27T03:54:00.000-08:00

Diaries of Bridezilla: Episode 2
Oil Treatments At Dessange: A Bride's Way Out!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! I love my hair!"
This is exactly the expression you get after you are done from your oil treatment session at Jacques Dessange. For those of you who are not familiar with Monsiuer Dessenge- male readers- it is a place where woman usually go in feeling ugly, and go out feeling extremely gorgouse.

Wether a woman gets her hair blow dried, colored, her nails manicured, her brows shaped, or her legs waxed, she always feels that amazing vibe of femenism and that unbelievable boost of self confidance.
So God bless Mr. Dessange wherever he is now for creating such a place and for adding such an amazing service to his superb collection: Oil Treatments.

The session starts with a neck massage; and I can't describe how good that feels after a stressful day jammed with arguments with your mother or with your viance. With every stroke you forget one more problem that was bothering you for the past week.

After the neck massage it's time for the oil sculp massage;; wOw! You can never feel any better with such a sculp massage that eases away all the tension in your brain and helps you release all those negative thoughts of not getting married any more.

Then, a cold mask is put over the hair to sooth the sculp and moisture the hair. The mask stays on your head for around 30 mins. and then it's rinsed out.
The rinsing part is very important too. They place you on a massage chair while washing your hair with hot water and cold water simultaniously to boost the blood circulation. A little bit more of face massage never hurts .
The most important factor in all of this process is ofcourse Sa3deya; The lovely 7abashia who have those magic fingers and does wonders to my hair. God bless you Sa3deya and bless your golden fingers! A 10 SR tip is never enough for your great work.

Bridal advice: If you decided to pamper yourself before your wedding, take the whole package of 4 sessions and a 5th one free only for 1000 SR. It's worth it!
and don't forget to ask for Sa3deya ; )

Next Episode: The Kousha with the Jumping Budget!

2006-11-25T14:36:00.000-08:00

Diaries of "Bridezilla"

Yes people, this is going to be the name of my blog for the next month (Try planning your own wedding and you'll go all Bridezilla just like i did).
I decided that for the next 30 days- which is the time left to my wedding- I will be writing a daily journal of my feelings, mood swings (damn BCPs!) and my adaptations' challenges.

God! getting married is not easy people, i'm telling you! I don't wana get all wise and stuff but seriousely; trying to adapt to someone else's life, and getting him to adapt to yours, thats alot of adapting!

Anyways, just to keep you updated on my planning agenda; I'm at the "giving away the wedding invitations'" phase. (God save my soul)
I mean you have to get in the car, ask your driver to stop at every house you know in jeddah to drop a couple of cards to people whom you don't even care if they came or not.

That's enough to let you know for today i guess.

Tomorrow's post: "Oil Treatments at Dessange: A Brides' Way Out!"

2006-11-19T13:54:00.000-08:00

The Gift of Music

Ssssshhhhhh!..... I think I can hear it now….I was wondering why it hadn’t started up until now…can you hear it?.....I’m sure you can….it starts off very distant, almost untouchable, unreal, but then it gets closer, you feel it breathing, the same way we breathe only when it breathes we breathe easier and harder still…

Listen…listen…its getting louder…..closer….it sounds familiar…surely you’ve heard it as many times before, carried on the wind that tosses your hair around as the breeze moves across the water under a sky dark of night but bright with your light and that of the stars… you must remember what it was like as you were gliding smoothly along the water towards that island that in the middle of everywhere…

the sounds that played on the wind as she set sail were the same as the one’s that were felt by the people she sailed to… now as they get louder you begin to notice what they are…at first faint but now more distinct…not so invisible as you stand there on the beach….with faces lit and a quiet silence being broken by notes and chords and echoes on the wind….the slightest of chills is brought along as it finally becomes clear…can you hear the music?
...shhhhhhh….. listen….its starting…

The perfect completion of a scene that never felt lacking….the lights of the fires on the beach and the waves on the sand all bright as we stand there…with music now clear and crisp….its the sound that was missing…it’s the sound that was kept away…hidden for some known reason…but now uncovered and now right there…hear it….feel it with all those standing around you…can you?
The captain that flew across the waves now standing there being carried by the waves of familiar tunes….

As we stand there on that beach of ours I give you the gift we both kept from ourselves…I simply cannot turn my back on these any longer…for what they were, what they meant, and what I found they still are…

I give you the gift of music…

(words of a Man to his woman, November 2005)

2006-09-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Ramadan World!

Congradulations to everybody on Ramadan; the peaceful yet hectic month of our hijri calender. The month when people sleep till noon and stay awake till dawn; when people find a reason to go shopping in Tahlia everyday and Enjoy the weekend nights in Al Nakheel. When young females wear their pretiest thobes and go Bazar-Hoping (a vocabulary that only Jeddah girls would understand) with their mothers or friends.

As we all know, Ramadan is also the month when all of us want to do good stuff but sometimes are clueless. So to all of you who dosn't know really what good they can do, I post this Hadeeth:

قال عليه الصلاة والسلام
"أحب الأعمال إلى الله عز وجل
سرور تدخله على مسلم
أو تكشف عنه كربة
أو تقضي عنه دينا
أو تطرد عنه جوعا
ولئن أمشي مع أخي في حاجة
أحب إلي من أن اعتكف في هذا المسجد شهر "

good luck with Ramadan!

Keep Fasting

2006-09-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

I feel like writing,, but I really don't know from where to start;
Should I write about the increasing number of un-born babies who are dieing in their mothers'whombs and my paranoya of pregnancy?

Should I write about me not finding a place to live in London when i'm suppose to leave in 10 days?

Should I write about the poor Saudi guy who was sentenced to a life time in prison in the US for a crime he didn't commit?

Should I write about me getting married in 3 months and my mixed feelings on that?

The banning of me3aselat
Woman not being able to pray around the Ka3ba
Ramdan

Too many thoughts, so much happening in such a short time..
what to say?
how to feel?

I wonder

2006-08-30T13:57:00.000-07:00

Girls Just Wana Have Fun!

FYI
my dear friends- Sunshine, DiDi, and Clarish- are at Prague right now,,, having tremendous amounts of fun,,, while I was here for the last 3 days attending a conference.
The way I see it; all girls gota have some fun,,, but I guess that some are just luckier than others : S
(I hate not being there!!!!)

Have fun girls!

2006-08-23T02:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I cried
and cried
and cried
I cried until my heart ached
then,, I stopped
the silence is killing
I tried to breath
I tried to regain hope
I tried to see through the darkness
but I failed
So I cried again,, and again
There is no ending to such a maze,,
is there a way out?

only then that I decided to stand up, wash my face and pray, for that is the only way out:
"Oh God! give me the strength to continue
and the wisdom to decide
and the light to see"
Amen!

2006-08-17T02:41:00.000-07:00

I'm Getting Married

It's not an easy decision to make, isn't it?
it's funny how people lately have been asking me: "are you ready for this?"
and my answer was always like: "yes, inshala"
because this is what i believe about getting married; it's something that you can't fully figure it out untill you live it. You can never expect and be ready for everything that you might ever face after marriage life, but you just do what you have to do. If you found all- or at least 70% of what you want- in someone, and you got that gut feeling telling you it's going to work inshala, then go ahead, because when you think about it too much,,, you're really never gona do it.

I sometimes wish there was a manual for engaged couples- in Saudi Arabia- to guide them through such a challenging phase. I'm willing to write one some day inshala, although my viance doesn't think i'm qualified of giving such advice; i gave him some hard times the poor guy :)

The only advice i can give for engaged couples, especially females is this: don't get caught up in arranging for the wedding party, the dress, al Jihaz, and the honeymoon or the house. Focuse on your relationship and make it a priority. Take your time in building a solid foundation for your commitment, for this is what's going to make you survive what's yet to come.

3ogbal al jamee3!

2006-07-29T02:43:00.000-07:00

To Lebanon,

After being away for a while from reading my friends' blogs, i have found out that everybody wrote about lebanon; the ones who visited it and the ones who didn't.
that was very moving; to see how muslims- and non muslims- around the world react to war. It's also irritating to see how some people in Saudi reacted negatively to this Sunni-She3a thing and took a stand from our war on Israel based on 7ezb allah being She3ees; how ignorant!
After i heard some of our Suadi shcolars' opinion about that i couldn't help but wonder; what's wrong with the Saudi people? Is is because of their Wahhabi attitude of the world? or is it because they're threatned my the USA and made this "she3a" excuse to get out of it? I really can't figure it out.
Why when Saudies think of wild summer vacations and beatiful women and great food they think "Lebanon" but when they think of war and giving a helping hand to another muslim country in need they think "she3a"!!!!! why?

or is it just the Saudi way of doing things; the contridiction, the hipocracy, the ignorance!

My prayers to Lebanon and the Lebanese:

"اللهم أعز الاسلام و المسلمين و أذل الشرك و المشركين و دمر أعداءك أعداء الدين
حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

2006-07-29T02:19:00.000-07:00

Shopping in Milano

Hello World,

I'm sorry i broke my promise and allowed the everyday-demanding life to keep me away from my fellow bloggers.
I have left jeddah on the 17th of july for my european vacation, and due to my very busy "shopping" schedual i didn't have time to get online at all. And please don't judge me on how can I go shopping and spend all that money while the people of south lebanon are dieing.
Please believe me when i tell you that "timing" hasn't been really a good friend of mine in that matter, for i had to prepare for my wedding and all of that stuff, and where could you find a place better than milano in july to shop??
But i assure you my fellow bloggers that i didn't went crazy shopping my head off, nor did i go around and bought 15 PRADA bags or 20 pairs of Sergio Rossi's and Dior shoes. I tried to be as reasonable as possible, considering the pain of the lebanese people and my father's Credit cards !

I just wanted to tell you my friends that milano in july- after all- is not the perfect place to shop. It's a big fat lie that people used to tell us when we didn't have anything back in KSA. The brand names are the same and the EURo is reaching the sky- it almost equals 5 SR. now. 2 years ago you could've easily find a good FENDI bag worth 400 Euros, but now; you can't get something less than 700 Euros; which is silly sara7a.
the only good thing about shopping there was that its botiques has a bit more items on its shelvs and you get the VAT tax before you're leaving the country.

conculsion: go shop from dubai; at least the shops are ariconditioned!

2006-07-15T05:40:00.000-07:00

Job Diaries: I'm off!!

Yes, I have resigned!
I left the great IMC after working there for 5 months.
5 whole months of 8 hours daily shifts, 6 days a week- with 4 hours only on thursdays- and lots and lots of morning coffees and after noon cups of tea.
it's true that i didn't have that great job there- i had a tiny office where i open files for patients- but i benefited alot from being in that position. I had the oppertunity to meet with all kinds of people; the doctors, the nurses, the adminstration people, the general public, and the real people of saudi arabia; al '3amad we al zahareen.
My super visor was a zahrani, and i think he had a crush on me and i admitt that i enjoyed the idea of him liking me but not having me..... i feel evil!
I also got attachad to the people there. We were like a family, although I didn't realy like all of them, and i'm sure some of them dind't like me either, but i tried to respect them and accept them as coleagues only; nothing more.
I was really surprized on my last day on the job- thursday- to find out that they're having a good-bye party for me, and that they've actually collected lots of money to get a big cake, food, and a very nice gift. I was touched!
During the party, my supervisor and the head managers of the department said really nice stuff about me. i felt so fattered, but i kept on wondering; why are they doing all of this for me?
do i desserve it?
is my friend- fa6ma al ghamdi- who organized the whole thing is trying to show off?
ya3ni what if i spent 5 years with them, what would they do?
It's funny how we don't realize how much we mean to others until we say good bye. It's just like when we have sometihng but we don't know it's value until we loose it.
That's us human beings; always ignorant.
In the end, i'm glad i made it through this experience. It's true i would never get a job with two shifts AGAIn, but i sure will know how to survive in the work place. I don't know if my next job experience will be the same but what i know is that I have developed the basic survival skills i need to go through it inshala.

2006-07-03T05:22:00.000-07:00

When Big Fish Eats Small Fish

In a world where new technologies emerge and large businesses compete, where the survival is for the "most profitable" and big fish eat small fish, where do small employees fall?

When chief officers argue about big decisions, and departments fall for others to replace them, what happens to the staff?

What I'm trying to say is that when major changes take place in a working environment, some employees would not really care as long as they're receiving their salaries at the end of each month. While others- no matter how insignificant their jobs are- do believe in the organization and its mission and their salaries are just an extra add to their work. In that case, their feedback on such change should not be taken lightly.
Some management theories claim that employees' behaviors are the core of every business and that's where the concept of Organizational Behavior (O.B.) rose from.
One of the major principles of OB (also called Organizational Studies) is studying the elements affecting the performance of the people in an organization; whether they are internal or external, personal or social, temporary or ongoing. A decision causing major department changes and negatively affecting staff is one of those serious elements which need to be considered from chief officers in any company.

My whole point is that it's really a pity for any noble organization to start high and then go low by time. What's more pitiful is when you may be witnessing such a fall and can't do anything about it because the people in charge are not listening, because you know; we are the small fish.

2006-06-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

Hello World
I've been away for a while. I know you're sick of opening my blog and not finding anything new and i appologize for that. But from now on i promise i won't be away for such a long time.
This blog is to tell you that
I got engaged!
and I'm happy with my viance al 7amdela. He's a great guy! and i'm lucky to have him! (i just hope this feeling continue and not discover that he's just another typical saudi wanabe husband). My engagement party was last week. It was a small party with close family and friends. I had fun,, but if i realized one thing it was this: I don't know how to be a saudi bride!
Seriousely; it's so funny how here in Saudi Arabia peopale have a certain image in their heads about brides. I don't know but is there any "secret" manual out there that's called "How to be a Saudi Bride: What do you do on r=your special day?" that i don't know about?
People here wants to see the bride stiff, smileing politely, not moving one inch away from the "Khousha" and just acting as if she's a robot not a natural, happy human being!!!
And what about all of those stupid "bridal" habbits that we have at such celebration; me giving him some kind of red juice from my glass and him doing the same to me and it HAS to be at the same split second or else we will be "doomed" forever...... crap!
Or the rule of having a "cake" with the names of the bride and groom written over it with some stupid flowers or two huge enagement rings on the top.... how silly!
Just to let you be proud of me my fellow female rebelious friends that i have stood strong infront of all those nonsense habbits and refused to do any of them; I didn't give him a sip from my glass and i didn't have a cake at my engagement party.... and yes i didn't carry some flowers in my hand,, and beleive it or not; i was still happy and i had a really good time.
Ofcourse i had to hear all those stupid comments from the family for the last week about how i was very active as a bride and how come i did my own makeup, which was too simple as they said, and not let a stupid lebanese at a saloon do it for me and make me look like a russian dummy!!!! Damn the traditions and damnthe general taste of saudi people!!
I refuse to be another typical bride!
I'm not the typical woman either!
and May god give me the strength to fight the rest of my battles : )

2006-05-27T07:25:00.000-07:00

To Lulua

She never got the chance to see the world
She never had the chance to open her eyes and see her mommy
she will never know how much her father was excited to hold her in his hands
she will never sleep in the crib they bought for her
she will never wear the pink pijamas her mommy prepared for her to wear

She never got the chance to hear people calling her by her name
"Lulua" a name her mother prepared since she first knew she was carrying a baby girl

She will not celebrate her birthday in October because she's not there any more
Lulua is gone.. with all the joy she would have brought to that small house

God's will,,,

و عسى أن تكرهوا شيئا و هو خير لكم و عسى أن تحبوا شيئا و هو شر لكم و الله يعلم و أنتم لا تعلمون* البقرة

P.S. This blog is dedicated to a life time friend who have lost her six-month fetus due to lack of oxygen. It was a baby girl. She wanted to call her" Lulua"

2006-05-15T01:32:00.000-07:00

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy

Since the day I have been reading "The World is Flat" by Thomas Friedman and I have been fascinated by him and by the way he presented such jaw-dropping facts in a simplified yet valuable manner. Since the book is 470 pages long, I decided to take it with me to work and read during the so-much free time I have. One day when I was reading at my office, my supervisor dropped by to say good morning-like he does every morning- and he noticed the title of the book. "what is it that you're reading?" and then he tilted his head a bit to read the title when his eyes fell on the author's name "Thomas Freidman ha?" and when I was just going to tell him what an interesting book it was he interrupted me saying: "Did you know that he's a Zionist? He's an anti-Arab, anti-Muslim, anti-Palestinian American!" I replied by telling me that yes I know that he's a Jew and he doesn't like Arabs but this is a book about globalization and not middle-east politics. He quickly rushed to find a pen while saying: "if you're interested in such stuff, I can recommend a better author, I'll write you his name" and he wrote the name on a post-it he found on my desk and rushed out of the office as usual. Not being able to stop reading or finishing "the World is Flat" until this day, I didn't bother to search for that other author, until 2 days ago when I entered into my office for my afternoon shift to find a paperback book left on my desk:

The Politics of Dispossession

The Struggle for Palestinian Self-determination

1969- 1994 By: Edward W. Said

I'm touched! Someone left me a book! I immediately knew it was the book my SV told me about. He also left me a post-it but this time inside the book on a particular chapter with the title of: "The Oriantalist Express: Thomas Friedman Wraps UP the Middle East". After I started reading for a while, it seems to me that Mr. Sa3eed (or Said) isn't a big fan of Mr. Friedman and was harshly criticizing him and his style of writing being ignorant to Arabs, snobbish, and manipulative to facts. Sa3ed describes Friedman as an all-knowing white father composing the ultimate how-to-do-it book for the Middle East.
In fact, I have sensed that kind of writing in Friedman's book, but instead of writing it for the Middle East, this time he wrote a guide for the rest of the world on how to improve their economy.
Anyways, I suddenly found my self between two contradicting authors; one which is writing about world economy and how countries become flatter, and the other is writing how the first is an asshole Jew who has a hidden agenda against Arabs in all his writings. Figure that out…?
so Do I support the Jew who is calling for third-world countries to wake up from their sleep and who is giving them a recipe for success? Or should i support the smart Palestinian who is fighting for his nation's freedom?
I'm not trying to solve the Middle-East's case here, as we always call it, but I'm trying to ask this question: "Do we think of what we read, or do we just take it for granted? Do we think twice before believing what's written in any book? Do we look deeper into the writer's style and read between the lines?

When it comes to reading; are we considered naive?

2006-05-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

Transition

From studying special education- educating students with special needs- I have known "transition" as the period when students with special needs move from school into the real world by entering college or by working. I never thought of transition periods happening to Normal people.. like me (This may seem naieve,,, but that's the truth).
I never felt those transition periods until i graduated from college; that's when it started hitting me; the feeling of confusion, worry, hesitation, and uncertainty.
It's when you have too many options,, or no options at all
it's when you start working,,, when you get married,,,, or when you get your first child.
A transition takes place when you start a new stage of life. it could be with your own will- like travelling abroad for your Masters- or totally against it- like getting pregnant when you least expected to.
It's a must,, it's a fact
it's a step that we all have to take at some stage of our lives to move on,,
to go further along the journy,,
to grow older, to be more mature,, more experienced.
We sometimes get in denial and reject that change because we're affraid we're going to fail,,,
***
unfortunatly, We always tend to underestimate ourselves when we shouldn't,,,
when we just have to keep reminding ourselves:
"that we did it before, and we can do it again!"

2006-05-05T03:46:00.000-07:00

Today I don't feel like writing about my friends
I don't feel like writing about work
I won't write about getting old or about marriage
I don't feel like writing about the book i'm reading, nor where i've been on wednesday night

Writing about men and relationships is not fun anymore
and writing about stocks and Saudi society is not my thing

Today I don't feel like writing
I don't feel like expressing
not for the lack of ideas,,, but because there is so much to say,,, and so much to express that I feel lost I don't know where to start...
I feel like locking myself into my new"white" room and just stay there alone
with no pressure...

A good friend of mine keeps telling me i'm an introvert and i like to keep my distance from others even when i need them the most.

I believe it's true,,, and I beleive i'm enjoying it

2006-04-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

Hello World...
God I missed my Blog!!!
I know i hadn't written anything in a while, but Please don't jump into conclusions and think i'm a lazy bumb who just reads other blogs and not write- nor am I a very busy woman that i don't have the time- my reason for not writing is just more FRUSTRATING!!!
The %&%**ing Hospital server started blocking all sites with a certain code from users- i guess any website that might cause a threat to the server itself- or something and aparantly my Blogger.com had that code. I am not an IT expert but whatever... poor me :(
Come on People!!! I feel i'm in a gov. school or boot camp or something not a privet, 5-star, representable hospital owned by decent people!!!!!
ooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! I AM SO ANGRY!!!
the problem is that i can't do anything about it cause the IT department manager is a really strict, relegious, wierd man who would rather have a daily debate with me about it than opening my Blogger.com!!
If only i could convince him that i can't live without my blogspot anymore.......
Help!!

2006-04-18T23:31:00.000-07:00

The Art of Word Expression

From a poem by Nizar Kabbani, cited in "The Girls of Riyadh"

"I will write about my friends,
the story of each of them,
I see in it, I see myself,
a tragedy like my own tragedy,
I will write about my friends,
about the prison that sucks the years of the prisoners,
about the time devoured by the columns of magazines,
about doors that don’t open,
about desires slaughtered at birth,
about the huge prison cell"
and about its black walls,
and about the thousands of female martyrs,
buried without names,
in the cemetery of tradition."

So True!

2006-04-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

الرجال أفعال

Since I've started waking up early-for work- and being on my way to the hospital around 8.40 every morning-except thursdays; 7.40- and "Panorama" radio station has been a good morning companion. You know "خليك بالجو"?

During mornings and while i'm listening to Panorama- half asleep- the songs are usually nice and the voice of the lady on the morning program- يسعد صباحك" or "أحلى صباح" or something like that- is friendly and energetic, but what really alerts me up is the Viagra add that has been recenlty on Panorama.

I JUST CAN'T STAND THAT AD.!! IT'S SO LAAAAAAAME!!!!

Well, in case you haven't heard it, here is how it goes;

setting": gym, beach, office, or anywhere that men can meet and have such dumb-yet life threatning- conversations.

voices: there is always a conversation between 2 men; one of them is the V-man and the other is the Doctor who tells him it's ok to take Viagra

This dialogue: (at the gym)

رجل: والله يا دكتور النادي عامل عمايله معايا

دكتور: أكيد الرياضة مفيدة و تساعد على تحسين أداء الجسم

(رجل: و الله مو في كل شيء يا دكتور, أدائي الجنسي مو قد كده (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!؟

دكتور: طب ليش ما تاخد فياجرا؟ تساعد على تحسين الأداء و تنشط الدورة الدموية و تساعد على تخفيف الوزن وزيادة نمو الشعر في الرأس و تحمر الخدود و تخليك تحب مراتك و هي المسكينة تحبك و حتكون أسعد رجل في العالم

and other stuff that is full of crap!

This is only one version of the Ad. wait till you hear the others...!

the funniest part comes after the stupid-shameful conversation between the horny guy and his stupid doctor is over and this deep-Masculin- voice says in a serious tone:

"فياجرا: الرجال أفعال"

God! What kind of an ad. is that?

when will our stupid Saudi advertisement companies find out that their ideas for T.V. and radio commericals are so cheap, concept-less, and lacks creativity??? Where are the advertising consultatnts? where are the consumer psychologists? Where is decency?

I'm sure that Mr. Roche (or who ever is the Pharmacutical company) that produces Viagra would not be very happy to know that his product is being promoted in such a primitive, low-class type of ad.

What's wrong with those "Durex" ads?

I liked them

2006-04-13T01:57:00.000-07:00

Kareoke for Dummies

Have you ever tried holding a microphone and stand infront of a T.V. screen reading the lyrics of your favourite song while Singing out of your lungs?!!!
Well if you ever had a Kareoke night-just like the one I had yesterday- you would've understand what i'm talking about.
If you haven't been lucky and experienced such trans, I will try to explain the whole process in a simple manner:
First, you have to have a group. Singing alone is not as fun, although i'm sure it would be a good way to practice.
Second, you begin with a fun, energetic song that everybody is familiar with- example "Barbie Girl" (ooooooold) or"All That She Wants" (even oooooooolder)
Third, choose another song that everybody is familiar with but now in Arabic- example "اخاصمك آه" Or "يا بنت السلطان". Don't forget to move your hips a bit, such songs are excellent for warm-up.
Fourth, take a break; have something to eat, or drink or have a cig (FYI: cigs makes it a bit difficult to scream, you will need your voice in the next step)
Fifth: choose one or two of your friends and form a band. Now choose a Rock song that you all know- example "Don't Wana Miss a Thing- Aerosmith" or "Loosing my Relegion-R.E.M." Here you will have lots of screaming, head turning with the long hair and all, and hands in the air- just like the real Rock Stars. (Believe me this would feel so much better than it sounds)
Sixth: Do the same thing but with an Arabic song- try one of 3abdel7aleem 7afiz or 3amro Diab songs, most people know them by heart.
Finally, finish the night with a grand finale; either a silly song just to take out the extra energy- (this would be very embarassing but we chose an old very-cheap egyptian song called "كلمني, فهمني"...sounds familiar? Or you can have a redo for any of the pervious hit-songs that you want all the group to participate in AGAIN- i'll leave that up to you.

P.S. After such effrot, I recommend high doses of Vitamin C and lots and lots of sleep.

Keep Kareoke-ing!

2006-04-10T23:47:00.000-07:00

Thougt of the Day: Husbands Vs. Bikinis

Yesterday I had a conversation about some marriage issues with a close friend. She was talking about husbands who do not allow their wives to wear a "bikini" in public and how does that opress their pretty, young wives who would like to show what they have to the world.
My argument was that why should the husband be considered as controlling and "close minded" if he can't tolerate his wife showing her "beauty" to stranger men. Why shouldn't he be considered as trying to help his wife be a better person by doing the right thing?
Her answer was very unique: "Oh come on! The best feeling is when you go wild with your husband!". I stayed quiet for a moment absorbing what she said and how I should react to it.
Should I agree or should I disagree? Should I defend my moral stand or should I surrender to the sweet temptations of life and say "you're right!"

I kept thinking of this significant conversation the whole day and I couldn't help but wonder; when it comes to choosing a husband, would you go for his His morals? or his madness? what is wrong and what is right in this whole "Bikini" issue? Is your husband considered primitive, old-fashioned, and uncultured if he asked you not to expose your body to other men?

It's funny how our minds got screwed up and we aren't able to differentiate between right and wrong anymore, not from a social perspecive, but from a religious one.
The Prophet PBUH said "Taraktukum 3ala al ma7aja al baida2.....(to the end of the Hdeeth)

Figure that out!

2006-04-08T00:36:00.000-07:00

Coming Clean

After you have sinned,,,
after you have crossed all the red lines
and broken all the rules
you need to come clean

After you have hurt a friend
after you have broken a heart
after you have cheated on that one person who really trusted you
you need to come clean

After committing all the crimes
and lieing all the lies
After breaking the law and having all kinds of forbidden fun,
you need to come clean

***
Come clean
make peace with your memories

be thankful to those who brought happyness to your life one day

forgive yourself to be able to forgive those who have mistreated you
admit your mistakes and appologize for those who desserve an appology

Share your dark secrets with someone you trust and don't keep them to your self,, for they will darken your soul one day

only then that you will be able to purify your soul
and come clean

Dedication: This blog is dedicated to a life-long friend whom I decided to come clean with.
Thanks Salem!
Hope you liked the "boglis"

2006-04-05T00:51:00.000-07:00

The Creation

Khalil Gubran is a great poet, philosepher, and artist. Since I have read his book "The Prophet" and I was hooked! Now i'm reading "The Khalil Gibran Reader"; it's a group of short stories, poems, and sayings of the great prophet of lebanon.

The following is one i really liked about Women. it's so true:

" The God seperated a spirit from himself and fashioned it into beauty.
He showered upon her all the blessings of gracefulness and kindness.
He gave her the cup of happiness and said: "drink not form this cup unless you forget the past and the future, for happiness is naught but the moment".
He also gave her a cup of sorrow and said: "drink from this cup and you will understand the meaning of the fleeting instants of the joy of life for sorrow ever abounds (thrives).
And the God bestowed upon her a love that would desert her forever upon her first sigh of earthly satisfaction,
and a sweetness that would banish with her first awareness of flattery.
And he gave her wisdom from heaven to lead her to the all-righteous path,
and placed in the depth of her heart an eye that sees the unseen,
and created in her an affection and goodness toward all things.
He dressed her with raiment of hopes spun by the angels of heaven from the sinews of the rainbow.
and he cloaked her in the shadow of confusion, which is the dawn of life and light.

Then the God took consuming fire from the furnance of anger,
and searing wind from the desert of ignorance,
and sharp-cutting sands from the shore of selfishness,
and coarse (crude) earth from under the feet of ages,
and combined them all and fashioned Man.
he gave man a blind power that rages and drives him into a madness which extinguishes only before gratification of desire,
and placed life in him which is a specter (spirit) of death."

Now That's why I call philosophy!

2006-04-04T01:27:00.000-07:00

Short Stories

Here are some of the stories that i've heard during the past couple of weeks:

A woman gets her freedom finally by taking "'7ul3" from her stupid husband who went and got married- after having an affair- to his uncle's widdow who is older than him by 10 years and who is a grandmother AND who used to be a good friend of his poor wife... figure that out!

a 19 year-old "Girl" gets divorced from her 22 year-old IMMATURE husband- who suddenly decided to be "relegious" and ordered her to cover her face infront of her cousins and not study "marketing" because it's "7ARAM"- after a year and half marriage that ended up with a daughter and a screwed up family. Figure that out!

a 45 year old gets divorced after her 4 sons and daughters go to college and after a 25 years worth of family life, memories, ups & downs. Figure that out!

a 20-something woman finally gets divorced after discovering that her crazy, mean, womenizer husband-who used to beat her up- had multipule affairs after their marriage. Figure that out!
A handsome, young privet-all girls college Male instructor divorces his over-weight, not-so-pretty wife after falling for one of his young, pretty female students. Figure that out!

So what is the common factor in the stories mentioned above? Can we come up with a statistic of the ratio of marriages to divorces in our corrupted society? Can we come up with the conclusion that Men are asswholes? or that Women are idiots?

Is it that of a complicated equation?

why is the Man+ Woman= love= Marriage= happy family doesn't exist anymore?

why did it change to Man+Woman= haterd=Divorce= chattered children?

Is it us? or is it them? or is it our impossible expectations, fairy-tale dreams," excess" emotional baggage and Parental pressure (or may I say Social pressure?)???

Figure that out

2006-03-29T22:21:00.000-08:00

A Dream Come True

This blog is just to tell you guys that

I GOT ACCEPTED FOR MA IN TEACHER'S COLLEGE, COLUMBIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

CAN YOU BELEIVE IT???? I CAN'T

(JUST FELT LIKE SHARING MY VICTORY!!!!)

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

2006-03-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

Kissing School

Sounds interesting ha? maybe some of us women hav wished if there was only a kissing school where our boyfriends/ husbands can learn how to kiss.... Well apparantly our wish ladies came true but we'll have to travel to Seattle, USA to attend it.

My discovery took place while reading a scientific report in the National Geographic- Feb issue- on love. The article was written by a reporter who wanted to dig deep behind the concepts of love, lust, romance, and commitment . There are so many interesting facts mentioned, I quote from it the following:
"Anthropologist Helen Fisher has devoted much of her career to studying the biochemical pathways of love in all its manifestations: lust, romance, attachment, the way they wax and wane. She speaks with appealing frankness, discussing the ups and downs of love the way most people talk about real estate. "A woman unconsciously uses orgasms as a way of deciding whether or not a man is good for her. If he's impatient and rough, and she doesn't have the orgasm, she may instinctively feel he's less likely to be a good husband and father. Scientists think the fickle female orgasm may have evolved to help women distinguish Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong."
Soooooooooo true...!

So back to the kissing school; apparantly it has been assisting couples since 1998 and has graduated over 500 couples from around the WORLD!
It is described in the website as "a serious and fun learning experience for all who attends it".
You have to check it yourself: http://www.kissingschool.com/

This is the link to the love article at the N.G. magazine. I have the whole article if you wanted to read it: http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0602/feature2/index.html

Good luck in that kissing ladies!

2006-03-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

Are You A Zippie?

Currently i'm reading a book called " The World Is Flat" by Thomas Friedman. I'm sure you've heard about it somehow- on Oprah maybe? But for those of you who is not familiar with the book, it generally talks about globalization and it's effect on the world; economically, politically, and socially. You might think it's boring, especially when it's 473 pages long, but believe me it's not. It contains very interesting, jaw-dropping facts that any civilized human being living in this era-globalization 3.0 as the author calls it- has to know.

I have found the part that i'm going to quote here very intersting! It made me wonder if we really belong to the Zippies.
" The Zippie is defined as a yound city or suburban resident, between 15 and 25 years of age, with a zip in the stride. Belongs to Generation Z. Can be male or female, studying or working. Oozes attitude, ambiton and aspiration. Cool, confident and creative. Seeks challenges, loves risks and shuns feear. " Friedman added: "destination driven, not destiny driven, outward looking, not inward, upwardly mobile, not stuck-in-my-station-in-life. "

Sounds interesting? then you gota get the book, it's available in Jareer- for the Saudies.

so are you a Zippie?

2006-03-18T21:40:00.000-08:00

Wednesday Nights

Last wednesday we had a gathering at a friend's house. We gathered around the T.V. while her cute son was running around the living room- enjoying the view of the pretty ladies all around him- each one us sharing part of her day. We had lazanya for dinner in addition to La Notre chocolate cake celebrating a friend's graduating for college last december.

Wednesday nights have always been special throughout our lives as saudi girls. Wednesday was always the most exciting day of the week. It was the day when school ended and fun is just about to begin. It's when all the dinners, DJs, and movie-nights took place. Sometimes it ended up pleasantly, with your best-friend dropping you home with a smile, not like other times when it ended up with a disaster and you came home finding your mom screaming her head off cause you were late- leaving you grounded for the next weekend.

What's so facinating is not Wed. itself, but how much we changed through all those wednesdays that have passed. I still remember the nights when we used to gather and talk about school, the teachers we hate, and the silly files that were never completed. Then came the nights when we discussed our relationships and how amazing and/ or shitty our boyfriends are.
After school we entered college life and discovered new posibilities to be less self-centered and discuss more interesting issues like our different majors and our new friends. By time, new topics came into our wed. sessions; engagements, marriage plans, husbands, in-laws, work, and babies- everything; from pregnancy to child rearing.

In the end, the most important thing is that we were together through it all; school, college, marriage, babies, and work. No matter how small or large the number of girls who gathered, the point was sharing, and that's what being a females is all about.

2006-03-14T00:47:00.000-08:00

Thought of the Day: Safety Nets

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the words "safety net"?
Do you think of a laaaaaaaarge net set up just like the ones we see at the cuircus? well, i don't. Actually, I think of something different.
I think of good, old friends who knows you inside out and would make you feel better even when you tell htme "i'm ok" but your tone suggests something completely different.
I think of an X-boyfriend who is always available to answer your calls, no matter how late at night, and whom whenever you call him would tell you how much he misses you, catch up on your news, and lets you think "thank god we're not together" after you hung up the phone.
I think of the family; the family that will always embrace you no matter what you did, where you've been, or how long you've been away. The family that will love us no matter how different we are from them.

And finally, I think of relegion, of God; our true safety net. Relegion is the only net that whenever you fall on to would protect you from falling and breaking your neck.

Maybe most of us take longer time to realize that and feel the importance of such a net to be there. Maybe even some of us don't feel the presence of this net, byt beleive me it's there.

When someone asks you: "how are you today?" what else would you say other than
"al 7amdulelah" even if you're not so good. when you feel the whole world is against you and nothing is going right and you wish you would die... don't you hear a backround noise in yuor head wisperring :"this is not the end of the world, it's just a test from god, just say 7asbeya allah we ne3ma al wakeel"

That is the safety net i'm talking about. The net of all nets

don't you agree with me world?

2006-03-08T01:59:00.000-08:00

Job Diaries: Hetrosexual Environments (mixed)
for females only

Hello world,
If you are a working female you are going to understand what i am about to write. But if you are still a student, then sorry sis... you'll just have to save it in your "un-read blogs" and read it when you get your first job.
anyways, working in a mixed environment is a very interesting experience. sometiems It could lead to an innocent relationship ending in marriage-maybe- or at other times, it may lead to a disaster- an ethical scandal that might scar you for the rest of your professional life.
It is true that there are some written codes that you would never cross, such as wearing clean, decent clothe, not to answer your mobile while on duty, or not talk behind your colleague's back.
On the other hand, there are some unwritten rules that no one tells you about, but you have to play by it if you want to continue in this job of yours, especially if it's your FIRST.

An example on these "hidden" rules is how friendly can you be with your male colleagues. Do you know? Does anyone know? ( readers from non-arab countries would understand what i mean, but for those of you who are not familiar with the Arab World, yes we do have issues with male friends).
Back to my questions regarding our male friends.... colleagues i mean, so who does set the rules for such a sensetive but significant relationship? is it the male? or the female? as i see it now where i'm working, i noticed that males are always testing the female's waters; if they tested it the first time and found it too cold, they would immediately back off. But if they found it warm and welcoming they will jump right in with their clothe on.
So the secret is behind having your water- as a female- still; nor cold or warm. Still water meaning that you give no impression at all. Don't be rude, and don't be nice. Don't frawn and don't smile. don't shut up and don't blabber. you just have to be respectful. set your limits, define your bounderies. keep that on for the first couple of weeks on the job, after that,,, you can start flirting with the cute guy you wondered about the first day you arrived ; )

Good luck!

2006-03-05T21:40:00.000-08:00

hello there world!
I chose my first blog to be titled "over qualified" for being at work right now and having these feeling so strongly! the situation is that i have been recently employed at a new privet hospital in jeddah that is still under trial, at the Patient's affaris department.
No i am not a reciptionist, i'm at the patients' file registration stuff, and it is true that receiving patients and registering them doesn't need more than mere english and computer skills... but come on people!!! what's wrong with COLLEGE DEGREES??
it's a pitty that a department with 16 employees in it- men and women- and only 5 of them have college degrees (and maybe less). and what do you believe their educational backgrouds are? high school, 1- year diplomas, 2- years diplomas, college dropouts,, and so on.
Don't you think there is something wrong about this? Can't you see it? aren't you wondering where are all those thousands of Saudi university graduates are and what are they doing? whose fault is it? whom do we blame? our schools or our higher education system? our government sector or our privet sector who accepts employees with such low standards? and who sets these standards? the demand? or the supply?
many questions to ask but who will answers them....
After realizing such a bitter fact about our reality, I no longer wonder why are we so behind the rest of the world. i no longer ask my self why our education is the worst and we are always the consumers and never the producers.
it's a viciouse cycle... but where does it start...?